See here.
87 is the normal out put that you use so the relay is on when it gets the 12v, if you use 87a instead what ever you use will run when the relay is not switched and then turn off when it gets the 12v switching power.
If your relay has 5 pins (Some only have 4) You just need to change over on of your out put pins. It should be the one going to the thermo switch.
If you can't figure it out, pop the cover off your relay and have a look, it'll make sense then.