by Blackrazor » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:28 pm
Let me give you a rundown of what will happen if each of the above gets into power :
Labour : All the time and effort of parliament will go into paying back Treaty claims to people who qualify as disadvantaged by race because their great great uncle Pete once was in the same room as a Maori guy. There will be a mandatory 40% quota of g@y and lesbian politicians enforced. The army will be equipped with pop-guns with pretty NZ flags that come out the end with the word 'BANG' written on the flag. The average New Zealander will be f*cked over to pay for the few.
National : The promised tax cuts will arrive, with the proviso that your net income needs to be in excess of $100,000pa to qualify for them. What remains of NZ's forests, rivers, mountains, and a large portion of the sky will be 'privatised' (aka 'sold') to Strip'N'Burn Inc of San Antonio, Texas, for $10,000,000 and the promise of free blow-jobs for life for anyone with a salary of over a quarter million. The average New Zealander will be f*cked over to pay for the few.
Greens : Cars will be banned because they cause to much pollution. Horses and carts will be banned because they leave holes in the ground. If you want to walk to the dairy, you will need to apply for a license under the Resource Management Act lest you disturb one of the few remaining breeding grounds of the Lesser-Titted Yellow-Bummed Grub Moth. Citizens will be required to eat Vegan food for 6 months of the year, composing mostly of cous-cous and tofu. All farm animals will be set free from their perilous labours and be free to wander the hills and plain, where soon after these domestic animals will all die of exposure and/or malnutrition. The average New Zealander will be f*cked over to pay for Nandor Tanczos's 'erb addiction and/or Rob Donalds vendetta against anyone who so much as looked at another human sideways.
NZ First : New Zealand will be purged of all people who arent 'New Zealanders' (which includes Iraqi's, Chinese, Boy Racers, Jews, Gypsies, Soviets, Jehovah's Witnesses, disabled people, and anyone else generally disliked by old people who have a rather antiquated view of the whole 'White People vs Spooks, Kikes, Wops, Gooks and Sand negro' age-old debate). The Security Intelligence Service will be officially nicknamed 'The Stasi' in honor of the old organisation they are to be modelled upon. Within 4 years, anyone under the age of 55 will be outlawed and forced to live on Stewart Island, while the remaining population enjoys a lovely, crime free society based on cucumber sandwiches, lawn bowls, and rampant bigotry. The average New Zealander will be f*cked over and replaced by a race of blue eyed, blonde haired superhumans who hail their leader, Dr Peters(hons), as he leads them into a thousand year reign.
Act : Once ACT gets into power, they will realise that they have noone left to bash, and will find out they actually have no real policies to speak of, at least ones that involve taking care of the country rather than digging up dirt on all their enemies. The party will collapse when an armed conflict breaks out in an ACT board meeting leaving all the leading members dead, the country will descend into anarchy and will burn in the fires of civil strife. The average New Zealander will be f*cked over by being devoured by zombies who have caught the T-Virus as a result of a last desperate act of malicious hatred by NZ's former Most Spiteful Man, Rodney Hide(MP).
Whichever way you look at it, there is a common theme : The average New Zealander will be f*cked over.
What can be done about this situation???
The answer is simple, dear friends : McGillicuddy Serious! They are the only ones with real, down to earth policies! Lets take a look.
• 100% Unemployment within 3 years. If noone is working, noone is more disadvantaged than anyone else!
• Solve all Treaty of Waitangi claims by doing to the claimants what they did to the people who were there before them : Eat them, preferably on toast.
• Shift all the old people to the Chatham Islands, and watch the whinging die down within hours.
There i but one solution! Vote McGillicuddy Serious!!!
Boring Sig