The modern man has become one lazy git. From microwave meals to Siri, we’re always looking for ways to rack up extra time on the couch watching The X Factor. Our gyms are the latest places to suffer from this ‘lifehacking’. Powerplates, elliptical machines, ab crunchers and the multigym benchpress are all designed to get us looking like Taylor Lautner without the 6 daily meals or vom-worthy workouts.
Well no more. Car Throttle has designed your own personal in-car workout guide; perfect for rush hour traffic jams and membership-less young drivers.
Car deadlifts Thor-like thighs are the name of the game, but no-one wants to pull a muscle and end up walking around like a serial bum-chunderer. So make sure you’re nicely warmed up before attempting these deadlifts.
Grab hold of your car’s side skirts (gym gloves to prevent blistering are an optional extra), bend your legs, keep your back straight, look forward and push up. Exhale on the ascent and inhale on the way back down, and make sure you keep that torsional rigidity to reduce back strain.
How many? 3 sets, 6 reps
Steering wheel inner pecsThe easiest-to-access workout comes next. This exercise will give your chest and inner pec a nice pump – guaranteed to get you a few cheeky wolf-whistles on your cruise around town. Turn the key in the ignition, unlock your steering wheel, and put your hands in the ‘10 and 2‘ position. Proceed to twist the wheel – slow reps are key here for intense burn.
Note: dry steering may be good for your pecs, but it’s horrible for your tyres
How many? 3 sets, 10 reps
Driver’s seat ab crunchesFor that perfect washboard stomach with exposed inguinal ligaments, car seat crunches will become your next BFF. If your car features a knob or electricity for adjustment, no need to worry, ladies and gents. Put your chair in the recline position and lean back. If you’ve got a lever or ratchet, simply lift the handle, recline slowly and use your abs to pull yourself back up in a controlled manner. Remember to breathe out on every upward motion.
How many? 5 sets, 20 reps
Boot sit-ups
For those wanting the full range of motion that a common sit-up provides, you’ll have to park up and fold down the backseats. This exercise works best when you have a training partner, so make sure there’s enough room for you both, Mr (or Mrs) Lardybum!
Maintain good form – your back should be touching the folded seats when you start and make sure you hold and squeeze at the top of the arc for ultimate killer washboard abs.
How many? 5 sets, 15 reps
Grab handle wide pullupsAnother one for the bicep boys, this exercise is sure to get you sweating in your sh*tbox, but is best suited to when you have no passengers riding shotgun.
When it’s safe to do so (i.e. M25 traffic at 5pm), park up, fold down the rear bench and reach over to the grab handles on the roof. Then proceed to lift yourself up. If you have a sunroof, make sure you open it so as not to restrict any head movement! Results should show a marked improvement in lats and general all-round henchman physique.
How many? 3 sets, 8 reps
Grab handle close pullupsFor some added bicep definition, you could also try close-grip pullups. Everybody’s favourite bodybuilder, Ronnie Coleman, is a bicep specialist and even he would give this exercise a glowing endorsement.
Again, slow on the way up and slow on the way down builds the best muscle. Don’t cheat yourself or your future career as The Rock’s stunt double.
How many? 3 sets, 8 reps
Boot press-upsBack to triceps and chest, and this is the exercise you’ve all been taught but most have never carried on past middle-school P.E. classes. Yes, it’s the trusty press-up! Keep your feet close together and your hands around a shoulder’s width apart. Then lower your body, maintain tension in your triceps and go as low as you can, as slowly as you can.
Remember, triceps are two thirds of your arm, so don’t focus only on your chicken egg biceps.
How many? 5 sets, 12 reps
Car bonnet & boot press-upsThe final exercise is perfect after you’ve finished that treacherous journey and need another endorphin rush. Yes, it’s the official ‘car bonnet & boot press-up’ (patent pending). This is the ultimate test of strength, endurance and athleticism.
With your training buddy (if not, with your lonely mind), each grab an end of the car. Proceed to flip your legs up into a good mounting stance with your palms on the ground. On the count of 3, lower yourselves down to the ground and back up again, in a 45 degree angle plane. The result should be some bowling ball shoulders and a killer upper chest.
How many? 3 sets, 8 reps
Fan workouts: MX-5 roof liftUpdate: this just in, courtesy of Gabor from Car Memes. Gabor has stumbled upon a novel exercise to get those lat muscles pumped and those biceps looking rounded. Yes, it’s called the Mazda MX-5 routine, and using the manual roof, you too can tone your guns.